Getting Naked with Bar Havoc

A little write-up of Fang Fiction from our newest Naked Girl…

Posted on May 23, 2011 by BAR HAVOC

“So,” my friend said to me Friday over dinner, “are you nervous about tomorrow?” I looked miserably up from my half eaten burger and unfinished beer.

“Don’t talk about it,” I replied, my head in my hands. “I think I’m going to throw up.”

Tomorrow was of course, Naked Girls Reading at the Coolidge Corner Theatre, and this time instead of a captivated audience member, I was one of the naked girls. I have never been more terrified in my life. I wasn’t sure what I was more nervous about; I am not terribly in love with my body, but when it comes down to it I’m not that shy. Public speaking however, not my cup of tea. I stammer, shake, stumble over my words and typically come down with a bad case of what I like to call Elvis leg, the violent and constant shaking in my left leg that can’t be quieted. Add to that the naked part, and we have one scared Havoc.

What did I get myself into?

The day of the show I felt oddly calm. I spent the day walking around my apartment in nothing but boots carrying my book and reciting my chosen passage to the cat (the theme of the evening was “Fang Fiction”, so I had chosen a favorite of mine, Anne Rice’s “Interview with the Vampire”).

I was excited. Nervous, but I had made up my mind. I could do this.

Midnight on Saturday arrived even with the scheduled Rapture, (how could the world end on a day that anyone was supposed to be naked reading?) and with the ever appropriate voice of God announcing throughout the theatre, Scratch (the founder of the Boston Babydolls Burlesque Troupe) called us in. I waited in the wings, my heart pounding out of my chest, the theatre thankfully too cold to allow sweating.

The calmness of the other girls was reassuring. This was going to be fun.

One by one we got up to recite the opening reading, chosen selections from Bram Stoker’s “Dracula”. When my turn came I felt myself rising from my seat, my back already aching from attempting perfect posture. My baby blue silk kimono untied effortlessly and silently fell to the red chair below me. I approached the microphone in nothing but a necklace, some bracelets, boots and a beaded belly chain. This was it, all eyes on me. Inside I was screaming. Onstage, I began to read.

The group opening reading was followed by the fiery Vikki Likkerish reading a passage from “Blood Kin”, a short story from the collection “Vampire Stories from the American South”. I returned to the stage to read a selection from “Interview with the Vampire”, a ten minute passage in which it was all I could do to not run in horror from the stage. “Slow down,” I kept thinking. “One word after another.”

You have no idea how long ten minutes really is until you’re naked onstage squinting in a spotlight trying not to sound like an idiot.

After a brief intermission in which I was happy to replace my robe and gratefully hug my friend Meg who had come for support, Jena Kitten read from “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter”, and Miss Mina Murray closed the individual readings with a bit from Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu’s “Carmilla”. We finished off the evening with another group reading from Robert Bloch’s short story “The Cloak”.

And then it was over. The robes came back on, and we walked offstage and I returned to my backpack of clothing.

I have never been so happy to slide into a pair of jeans and sneakers in my entire life.

My heart was still racing, a smile permanently stuck on my face. I might not have been the most powerful reader, or the most sexy. But I did it, I got up and read a story to a theatre of strangers, stark naked, Elvis leg and all. Take that, Rapture.

I won’t be taking my clothes off again anytime soon, but Miss Mina and the fabulous Boston Babydolls will be! Want more? Check out “Madam Burlesque”, an evening of tributes to the great ladies of burlesque July 8th-16th at the Cambridge YMCA Theatre, 820 Mass Ave, Cambridge. For more information and to buy tickets head to


One Response to “Getting Naked with Bar Havoc”

  1. Those girls are very beutiful and sexy poses.

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